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Funny

The 8 Types of Secret Santa Gifts

1. Homemade craft literally no one wants



2. Something from my desk I re-wrapped



3. Whatever cash you have on you



4. Something inordinately expensive you bought to show off



5. Stupid cheap tchotchke from a thing you once mentioned you saw an episode of



6. Nothing



7. Something genuinely thoughtful and nice

 



8. Popcorn tin



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Getting Ready Takes Longer For Girls (CHome Alone 3/5)

Those plumbers are definitely *not* robbers.

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‘Twas The Night Before Inauguration

'Twas the night before inauguration, and all through the States

Half the country was worried 'bout the future they face.

Liberals were soaking their sorrows in gin,

With the knowledge that Donald would soon be sworn in.

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Meanwhile, Trump was not snug in his bed,

But was waging a flamewar on Twitter instead.

SNL did an impression of him,

And the joke had got under his very thin skin.

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All the news cycles gave the rant undeserved airtime,

As we sprang to our screens to see what he did this time.

Some called him stupid, while others agreed,

And into his ego the nation did feed.


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And no matter your views, there was one thing for sure:

We were dealing with something we hadn't before.

Because our future POTUS's aims were untold,

And nobody knew what the future would hold.


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Sure, Trump had said lots of things when he ran,

Like that he'd build a wall and put Muslims on ban.

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But he changed what he thought at the drop of a hat.

So the promises made were worth diddly crap! 

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What we DID know was coming was scary as fuck.

Donald Trump filled his cabinet with dumb alt right cucks.

They all spread lies and exploited our fears,

And vowed to undo all the Obama years.


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The ones who seemed sane started licking Trump's balls.

Just take a look at the House Speaker Paul.

Mr. Ryan would rather let Trump run amok,

Than admit the Republican party fucked up.  


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What's worse is that Trump's number two in command

Only looked out for straight, white Christian men.

If we impeached Trump for some future offense. 

We'd still have to deal with a President Pence.

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It was hard to say which man posed less of a threat

Who's better: a narcisist or a bigot? 

'cause even though he seemed devoid of a soul,

Pence at least seemed to have some self control.  

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But Donald was driven by pride and by greed

He wanted the power but did not want to lead.

He only desired to feel like the best.

He couldn't have given two shits 'bout the rest.

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If Donald felt threatened, he'd start to lash out

He'd insult and name call and scream and he'd shout.

He'd spew random bullshit to fight for his cause,

Paying no mind to the facts and the laws.

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Just look to Twitter to see how he thought.
With each passing message he fought and he fought.

Each minor slight made the Donald explode.

And he'd soon be given our nuclear codes.


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Trump ended his tantrum and soon went to sleep,

For tomorrow he'd be named commander in chief.

But he sent one last tweet 'ere he went out of sight:

A  link to fake news written by the alt-right.

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Tricking The Pizza Person Is Harder Than It Looks (CHome Alone 2/5)

Wherein the gang tries to fool an innocent pizza delivery person and gets into a hilarious jam.

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Wait, How Were We Left Alone? (CHome Alone 1/5)

You can't just COMPLETELY forget the entire CollegeHumor cast when you go on a Christmas trip to Paris...can you?!

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