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How Donald Trump Thinks Nazi Germany Worked

How Donald Trump Thinks Nazi Germany Worked

Donald Trump is pissed at a series of leaked memos that implicate him and his associates in a number of charges, including communication with the Russian government and damaging information Putin may have on him - to the degree that he made the very reasonable tweet below:



It turns out that Donald Trump is right - this is exactly what Nazi Germany was all about, as the below dialogue between Hitler and Joseph Goebbels demonstrates:

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  1. HITLER

    Ach! Mein own intelligence agency leaked a report saying that I love being pissed on.

  2. GOEBBELS

    Ergh! If only we could do something!

  3. HITLER

    I wish we could, but we can't! As Hitler, I am helpless to do anything about people in my own government undermining me. It's not like I have a secret police or anything that would imprison or murder anyone who angered me. And now intelligence agencies leaking reports that the leader loves being pissed on is the main thing everyone will remember about Nazi Germany.

  4. GOEBBELS

    Totally, definitely not a fascist regime that had complete control over all aspects of government and society and the mere idea that an intelligence agency would release damaging information about the leader is basically the complete opposite of the actual situation.

  5. HITLER

    Also the Holocaust.

  6. GOEBBELS

    Yes, also that, that's definitely not something people associate Nazi Germany with. Only how your own intelligence agencies undermined you by revealing how much you loved piss.

  7. HITLER

    In the future, when someone says "This is just like Nazi Germany," the thing people will naturally assume they're referring to is intelligence agencies reporting that the leader loves golden piss streaming down his face.

  8. GOEBBELS

    Yep - if people associated Nazi Germany with the horrors of racial genocide, fascism, or brutal, world-consuming wars of aggression, any future person comparing their situation of dealing with rumors about loving piss would look incredibly petty and stupid to compare their situation with being in Nazi Germany.

  9. HITLER

    That is COMPLETELY true. Luckily, people DON'T associate Nazi Germany with anything except memos about loving piss.

  10. GOEBBELS

    Absolutely correct, Hitler. Now let's go get pisssed on.

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Tinder Profile Picture Day 2

If your picture's a selfie it looks like you don't have friends.

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Donald Trump Loves Golden Showers (Maybe) and the Internet Is Goin’ Wild

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With a mere 10 days until the inauguration of Donald J. Trump as the 45th President of the United States, news broke today of memos - published by BuzzFeed - implicating Trump in a variety of deals and communications with Russia...but the main takeaway was this passage:

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In case you have any trouble reading the above (or just don't feel like reading it), here's the main takeaway: Trump supposedly stayed in the same room as President Obama had on diplomatic visits to Russia and had prostitutes piss on him in the same bed Obama had slept in - and the Russian government had bugged the room so they had proof of the whole thing.

Basically, Trump likes golden showers.

Again, this is all a bit suspect - supposedly these memos had been floating around journalist circles for months, with no one taking the bait because the source (supposedly an ex-British intelligence official) was not a known entity and none of the claims were verifiable. Regardless, people are very excited to make lots of pee jokes about our soon-to-be President:


























It wasn't long before Donald Trump graced us with his measured, calm response:



...to which everyone had some interesting replies:



Strangely, a few people saw this coming: one being Modern Family writer Danny Zuker (who previously got into a few Twitter feuds with Trump, in his pre-presidential run days) back in March 2016:



...and Fox News, back in November 2016:



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